Into the Unknown

How bored are we? Are we bored enough to start blogging again? I see you:

Yellow Brick Blog
The Mix Tape
The Mullins
A Picture Paints a Thousand Words

And so many more...

Where are you bloggers? We need you now more than ever!

If this pops up on your Feedly (RIP Google Reader) consider yourself summoned. Let's see what you've been up to. I haven't blogged since 2011. Now is the time. Hit me with your updates. How many kids do you have? Where are you working? What do you want your readership to know about you since your last post? Tell me all about it!

Some Clever Title About Babies

I had a baby. That's not what this blog is about. This blog isn't about anything anymore. If you dare to be abandoned again follow me over here to find out all about my sweet girl, motherhood, diapers, childbirth (hands down the weirdest experience ever), and anything else baby related that I don't want to post here because it's not a baby blog. Shall we?

Or Maybe Not

I don't know what to write about. I'm working at my new job, I've started going to hot yoga again, I'm fatter than I've ever been, I still hate the Black Eyed Peas. It's been a year since we went to Australia. I do this to myself. I mourn vacations. It's stupid and I hate it but I get depressed when August ends and I remember when we left for Europe on September first and the years start to pile up and make me feel old and annoying.
So maybe the well constructed posts aren't coming. Sorry. I think I might take a break. Or maybe not. I'm tired of stressing out that I haven't blogged. Check back in. Hopefully I'll have something better to tell you later.

2011: Here We Go

I guess that last post was kind of misleading. I'm not changing the layout or the theme of this blog. Sorry to make it sound like I had something good up my sleeve. The only thing up my sleeve is my arm. Insert the sound of a balloon deflating slowly.

But I am going a slightly different direction and will try to write some well constructed coherent posts that aren't just a jumble of thoughts. This is not one of those posts. Baby steps people, baby steps.

I am happy to report I finally left my shit box of a job at Topline/Report Footwear. I was always so hesitant to say where I worked. I know I mentioned it a few times but I never really went into detail about what an awful job it was. During my 6.5 years there I experienced the most blatant misogyny, discrimination, nepotism and abuse. It feels so good to put that experience behind me. My new job is the same admin desk job as before but at least I work for a company that respects me, with an HR department. Big plus.

As I continue to learn the ins and outs of my new position I try to not forget the experience of working for a good old boy's club. I try to remember that my new job may suck sometimes but it is nothing compared to being scolded for other people's mistakes, being told to improve without being given the proper tools and being blatantly disrespected. I remind myself that I won't be held back from a promotion at my new company because I'm not Asian or because I'm a woman. I know that my salary won't increase with the amount of leg that shows under my skirt and the height of my stilettos. I take comfort in knowing I can access my files without needing to get special permission to tip-toe around the owner's luxury car collection that he hides from his wife in the building's storage room.

I'm hopeful that the future will bring stability and opportunities. I hope that I can benefit a company that will appreciate me. I feel like I'm finally headed that way after a long detour in Shoeland.  Stabilityville may not be as glamorous of a place but I feel good here, and the people are nice.

Not Dead Yet

One of my most favorite people in the world sent this:

Shall I just take your blog off my favourites list and get back the 0.7 seconds per day that it takes me to check it and realise there is no new post?! Put me out of my misery!

Don't take me off your favourites or your Google Reader (or your favorites for my American readership). 

I am drafting a plan. Picture me pressing my fingers together and grinning like Smithers except without the wrinkles and bald head. 

Check back after the holidays. Don't give up on me. 

We interrupt the hiatus to bring you the most random and hilarious thing you'll see today:
http://www.trueamericandognews.blogspot.com/

We now return to our regularly scheduled absence.

On the Clock

I'm supposed to be working but everybody is at the FFANY show this week and there's not much going on. I'll get back to work in a jiffy. Did you hear that Internet Overlord? I'll get back to it asap, just let me have this time to clear my mind.

A coworker and I were discussing the possibility of successfully dialing 911 in a dream. I believe that it's not possible simply because it has never happened to me. Here's a list of what happens in my dreams when an emergency elicits a 911 call:
- the operator answers, asks me if it's a true emergency and then puts me on hold regardless of my answer
- the numbers on the keys jump around and dodge my finger as I try to dial
- I get a busy signal
- the operator speaks complete nonsense as if I dialed the wrong number and he or she thinks I am calling to order takeout or clothes from a catalog

Does this happen to you or are my coworker and I completely insane?

I like this blog but I caught on to it late and now I want to know what happened to Sister Wolf's son. Usually if I need a back story I can just read the comments but she turned comments off on this post. Do you ever read a blog and feel like you're missing something but don't really have the time to go back and read the entire archives?

I will finish my posts about Australia soon, promise. I'll do it before my birthday. Like how I slipped that in to remind you my birthday is coming up?

That's it. Back to work...

Your Vote is Requested

20 years ago if you wanted someone to vote for your cute dog, your friend's 8th grade math class or your husband's former employer's kids' elementary school you would have to write a letter and take the time to stamp and mail it. Or even worse, you'd have to pick up the phone and ask your peeps to vote for your cause. And let's not even talk about the actual voting process. I just don't know how they did it.
With the advanced age of enlightenment and what was once called the Information Super Highway (now just called the internet) all you have to do is click.

Please oblige:

Vote for Lydsy and her adorable dog Waldo so she can recoup the money she spent to have her underthings removed from his intestines. Do it here.  Click on W, find Waldo and give him 10 out of 10 for being the cutest dog in LA.

Vote for my friend Betsy's husband's friend and former boss as he tries to provide a new playground for his kids and their classmates at Meeker Elementary in Puyallup. Click here to do so.

Vote for an 8th grade math class from my hometown Tulsa, OK (holla) to go to the opening of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando. Your vote is requested on behalf of the reigning queen of cupcakes in Seattle otherwise known as Jamie Of All Trades. Just point your mouse right here.

Many thanks to Al Gore for inventing the internet and allowing us to excersice our civic duty as Americans and vote for things.

The Obsession Continues

I know you are dying to hear about the rest of our trip to Australia but I need you to focus on what I have to say right now. This is very important.

There is a new chocolate bar with sea salt in it. That's right in it, not just sprinkled on top. The sea salt is mixed in with the amazing dark chocolate to create the offical candy bar of my top desk drawer. My endorsement is a gold mine, I'm sure.

I scored one of these delicious treats at my friend Sarah's bridal shower a couple weeks ago and I have a little piece every day after lunch. I think you should try it.

If there's ever an occasion where you need to buy me something, let's say my 30th birthday on July 1st, Christmas 2010 or Chocolate Lovers Day which happens to be today, you can just give me one of these chocolate bars and I will be yours forever.

Paging Dr. Phil

Do you ever look at the calendar and suddenly panic that you haven't paid any of your bills on time? This happens to me all the time and it's super weird, especially since I actually do pay my bills on time. With the recent increase of online bill pay options I think that I forget what I've paid, since it's all just clicking; like the regular clicking I do on dlisted or facebook or msn. The clicking becomes indiscernible and I simply can't remember what I clicked on when and what information a certain click sent into the universe on my behalf.

I constantly dream that I haven't shown up to work in weeks or that I have a big final coming up but I stopped going to class ages ago.

Am I trying to tell myself something? Do I need to be more responsible or is my subconscious telling me to wake up and realize that everything is fine?