To hold you over, like a slice of cheese between lunch and dinner

I survived the longest week in history. Dan got home from VA yesterday, my sis and Mike are already back from their honeymoon, the family is slowly trickling back down to Mexico, Ms. Chloe is still in the hospital but we're hoping for good news on her transplant results, and my mom passed gracefully from 59 to 60 and hardly complained about her poorly organized chaotic mess of a party (my fault). Despite a downpour in the middle of the reception we had a great time at the wedding on Saturday. As soon as I move from in front of these 3 fans I will find some pictures to post. In the meantime I thought I would tell you about some things on my mind. Some are kind of new, some seriously dated but I hope they entertain you for a little bit.

First of all, what the hell is up with the two bathtubs in the Cialis commercials? Who would put two bathtubs side by side in front of a dock or on a mountain top or on their deck? I find this seriously retarded. No matter your age you are not having sex if your partner is in a separate bathtub than you. It's simple logistics.

When Donald Trump gets rid of contestants on his reality show The Apprentice he says, "you're fired." However, the contestants are all vying for the job, so they're not actually hired yet. You can't fire somebody you haven't hired. Granted, the send off, "you're not hired" is not as catchy but at least it makes sense.

There's some country singer, Carrie Underwood mayhap, that sings, "carved my name into his leather seats." Um, hello, dumb ass, that's like spray painting, "Littlemeah was here" on the side of a building or keying your name on someone's car. Carrie advises us maybe her ex will think twice before he cheats. Maybe you'll think twice, Carrie, when you are sitting in jail and you see yourself on the next episode of America's Dumbest Criminals.

Did you know that now more than ever people are saying, "now more than ever"? I suppose there are trends in marketing and right now the trend is doomsday advertising. But now more than ever I wish companies would stop warning us that we need their product now more than ever.

Did you notice they switched the Sleep Country woman on the commercials? Does it bother you that they dress the two exactly the same in khaki pants and sensible sweater sets? Like maybe you won't notice the new gal is way skinnier and looks nothing like the old gal? And who says gal anymore? What am I, 50?

I feel great now that I have that all off my chest. Thanks for your help, it's like therapy, really. Next week, same time?