Thursday, December 18, 2008
Monday, December 08, 2008
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes
(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)
how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of allnothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?
(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
Monday, November 17, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
This post wins the title of best post written by a 20-something Mexican on Veteran's Day in the city of Bellevue
People, heed my warning.
Re-fucking-lax on the counting. You are all going to become OCD statisticians who crank out volumes of mundane figures and records. Just look at the guys who call baseball games, they're crazytown with numbers and stats. Is that what you want to become? Is it? I didn't think so.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Monday, November 03, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
I love bite-sized candy especially Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Snickers and Kit-Kats. I love sweaters, comfy coats and scarves. I like Starbucks apple cider with whipped cream and caramel sauce.
This post wouldn't be complete without a list of the things I hate about fall. You didn't think I was going to leave you on such a precious little note, did you?
I hate things that are pumpkin flavored. Who decided to take a gourd and use its contents to flavor things such as pies and lattes? Bad call, person who invented pumpkin flavored things, bad call.
I hate eggnog. This stems from my days as a barista. Eggnog is nearly impossible to steam. The sound of steaming eggnog is almost as bad as the sound of Christmas music (yes, I hate Christmas music. I'll elaborate in a separate post when the time is right). If it gets too hot it turns to scrambled eggs. If you order an extra hot eggnog latte don't be surprised if it comes with a punch in the face.
I hate trying to figure out what to be for Halloween. Dressing up isn't so bad, it's the thought process that precedes the party that I hate. What will I wear, where do I find it, how do I pull it off? Ugh, too much time and money for something so silly. Amy, I am totally looking forward to your party, don't take it personally.
Mainly, I hate knowing the holidays are "just around the corner". Corporate America thinks the start of fall is a great time to load up the shelves with Christmas decorations and wrapping paper. I have a long and bitter relationship with the holidays. I hope they go as quick as they come.
So there you have a balanced list of things I love and hate about this wonderful season. It's the yin and the yang, if you will. What do you hate about fall? Do you hate that the names of seasons aren't capitalized? Yeah, me too.
Monday, October 06, 2008
1. Congrats to the Kalamakis family on the birth of beautiful Payton Andrew! I wish you guys the very best and send you lots of love!
2. Congrats to Cynthia and Will on their engagement. What a surprise! I can't wait for the planning and the big day. We're dying to find out where the wedding will be, make a decision immediately!
3. I just finished reading My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Piccault. Wow was I pissed off after I read the last chapter. Man, talk about a stupid ending. I feel robbed; I spent all this time reading the book only to be slapped in the face in the end. Hated it. hated, hated, hated it.
4. I am eating a Cup Noodles (I thought there was an O in there but apparently not). It's really good. It reminds me of cheap lunches in the student center at LW. Good times. As a side note, it is impossible to gracefully eat noodle soup; it is also impossible to gracefully walk downhill. These are two things I am sure of.
5. I am not so sure what's wrong with my furry friend Lola. After a trip to the emergency vet (cue cash register ringing sound), we think she might have a disease called Addison's. We don't know for sure yet but it's really very sad and expensive. The disease is treatable but it's hard to see our little buddy so sick. I am wondering if I should have kids; some things are really hard to handle.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
The cough has worsened, I can only take short breaths (I can't take a big deep breath without coughing), my chest feels congested and heavy and I have a little bit of pain like heartburn.
Before I go and do something erratic like go to the doctor I'd like you to take a stab at my diagnosis. Please also include your recommended treatment.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
On Saturday morning we donated a load of crap to the Goodwill. After that we went to my parent’s house for lunch and they were cleaning the garage. A few hours later we left with more junk than we gave away that morning.
Here’s the breakdown, did we lose or did we score?
6 blue wine glasses left in old apartment by crazy ex-roommate
1 annoyingly short scarf
2 Helly Hansen jackets in good condition but embroidered with a large philanthropic logo and never worn
1 homemade cave girl Halloween costume
1 coffee percolator without its cord
1 ancient Pyrex dish sans lid
1 terra cotta dish of unspecified purpose
2 bedding sets
1 red fuzzy OSU Sooner’s golf club cover (disclaimer: I’m from OK)
1 black shelf
1 German rotating Christmas ornament thing w/ candles
2 boxes of Lake City Rotary 1999 golf balls
1 portable tool set
1 All Clad slow cooker
1 Polo fleece jacket
1 shoe box of old pictures from Jr High and HS
1 pistachio tin full of old notes from HS (funny stuff, BTW)
1 shoe box of old craft supplies
Now, before you vote that we totally scored I have to let you know that the All Clad slow cooker was ours to begin with. I let my parents borrow it a couple of weeks ago and just took it back. I think we scored but Dan thinks I’m a crazy hoarder. What do you think?
Friday, September 19, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
So, I don't apply. Just sayin'...
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Monday, September 01, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Amy and Taylor’s wedding was beautiful. Of course I drank too much and sent myself to bed around 11. Typical. I also managed to take 1 blurry picture of the bride and groom and 2 pictures of myself looking fat in the dress. So, you won’t get to see Amy’s stunning dress, amazing bird cage veil, fabulous orange flowers and gorgeous bridesmaids. You also won’t see the splendor that is Alderbrook on a perfectly sunny day. Sorry.
There were plenty of shenanigans. There is a large bouquet of flowers on my kitchen counter right now. They were given to me as an, “I’m sorry you had to clean up my puke, tackle me as I tried to run away wearing only boxers and stay up with me all night to make sure I was breathing.” bouquet. Apology accepted.
This weekend we’re off to San Diego for Bryce and Tisha’s wedding. Dan and Bryce went to school together at USC. Dan is looking forward to seeing his friends from school and I’m looking forward to a nice weekend in the sun.
In a couple more weeks we’ll yodel all the way to Leavenworth, everyone’s favorite fake Bavarian village, for a family friend’s wedding. In October we’ll attend our friends Marissa and Ali’s wedding at Newcastle.
As most of you prepare to settle in for fall and winter we’re just getting started with gifts, cards, dresses, cuff links, RSVPs, toasts and dancing.
After the wedding season ends we’ll be headed straight for baby mania. But that’s a post for another day.
Monday, August 25, 2008
1. My sincerest apologies go out to the scientists and workers that put rounded metal poles into Green Lake in the early '80s. I did not intend to offend them by calling them creepy weirdos and claiming they are the "stuff of which urban legends are made." One piece of advice though, next time you insert anything into a lake that nature can gradually form into a weapon, go back and check a few years later. Do it for the kids.
2. I did indeed look fat in the dress I bought for Amy and Taylor's wedding. The print doesn't lend itself to flattering photographs. I will not post any pictures of myself in this dress. Trust. It didn't look good.
3. I do not consider any of my friends Suzy McFluzy (promiscuous yet lovable). If you think I was referring to you please note that all characters in that post are mere fiction and solely the creation of the author. Any resemblance to an actual person, living or deceased, is purely coincidence.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
We're celebrating tonight with some vino and tapas at the Woodmark's new wine bar Bin Vivant. Check back in for a review and some wedding pics too.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Saturday, August 02, 2008
It was on sale.
Friday, August 01, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
This is the bride, the lovely bridesmaids, Fabio the sexy little minx, MOB Rita (left) and MOG Marilyn(right).
This is all of the above minus MOG and MOB plus me.
Notice Betsy making googly eyes at Fabio. Love it!
Monday, July 28, 2008
“rock out with your guac out” (see picture below) and the official quote of the weekend:
“Take your pants off and redeem yourself”
I am a shitty photographer so here are a couple of grainy images. If you took pics this weekend please send them to me so I can put them in the slideshow.
Monday, July 21, 2008
For $20 we got 10 wine-tasting tokens, a midgie-sized souvenir wine glass and the chance to rub elbows with Kirkland’s most perfumed cougars and frat boys. The organizers of this fine event forgot to mention that most of the tastings would actually set you back 2 or 3 tokens, so by the time we went and purchased additional tokens we had spent about $60 for just a few stringently measured 1 oz. pours. A Saturday night of expensive mediocre wine and dreamy singles running amok was just a little more than I could handle.
The good news: there were a few tasty wines and the weather was fantastic. Overall we enjoyed ourselves, although we went home feeling slightly ripped-off.
As promised here are some pics:
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Congratulations, you are officially the creepiest weirdo in Seattle. You hold the title for the most malicious and creative way to injure an innocent citizen. I must inquire about your sneaky methods. How did you manage to go unnoticed and put not 1, not 2, but an astounding 50 metal spikes in the lake? Is your handy work performed in the dark of the night? Do you operate on dreary winter days when Green Lake is sparsely visited? I am intrigued and disgusted by your hobby. I am sure the Seattle Police and the Parks Department will find you. When they do, I hope they take you to a dark hole somewhere and stab you with your own weapons. You are the stuff of which urban legends are made, and that’s not a good thing.
Years ago, when I was naïve impressionable teenager, I was told there were tether ball poles in Lake Washington under I-90. When naïve and impressionable teenagers went seeking a thrill in the heat of the summer they would go out to the bridge and hurl themselves to certain impalement. In the core of my young brain I knew this to be false, but I kind of believed it. After hearing of your little escapade to Green Lake I think maybe the tether ball pole myth might be true after all. Either way, I’m not about to go jumping off a bridge or swimming in Green Lake anytime in the near future.
So thanks, creepy weirdo. Thanks for making us all think twice before doing something so simple as swimming in our city’s refreshing waterways. Thanks for making me doubt reason and common sense when I hear a silly urban legend. Thanks for sending chills up and down my spine on the way to work this morning. Run fast, creepy weirdo; hide well, because when they manage to find you I’m sure you’re in some deep shit.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
1. Beat all his Wii Fit records, especially the ski jump so he'll come home and feel the same as every time I whoop him in bowling.
2. Teach Lola a new trick that she'll only do for me. Suck it Dan.
3. Watch all his Tivo'd shows and erase them. When he's back I'll only tell him about the first half of each episode and say, "I guess you'll just have to catch a rerun".
4. Do my laundry and leave his dirty clothes in the hamper, sucks going into work on Monday smelling bad.
5. Cook up his favorite meal and store no leftovers.
Who am I kidding? That list is just a bunch of thinly veiled chores and pitiful sessions of gluttony and revenge. I will do none of the above. I hope he wins big because at the very least he'll owe me a nice dinner out.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
A- available? Negative, Dan has beat you to it.
B- Best Friend? Yeah, tons, I'm really popular
C- Cake or pie? Both, nom nom nom
D - Drink of choice? Gin and Tonic, Jaeger Red Bull, Water during the week
E - Essential thing used everyday? Lots of things, toothbrush, car, computer, fork, etc, etc...
F- Favorite color? Don't have one
G- Gummi bears or worms? I'm not a fan of gummy candy
H- Hometown? Tulsa, OK and Kirkland, WA
I - indulgence? Starbucks, cheese, Banana Republic Petites
J- January or February? February- I love Valentine's Day
L- Life? Doesn't suck
M- Marriage date? August 11th
N- Number of siblings?One, Ana Beatriz
O- Oranges or Apples? Fuji apples
P- Phobias? Some social situation freak me out
Q - Quote? "You can't polish a turd"
R- Reason to smile? There are tons, where do I start? I recently smiled big time reading a new post about Carolina
S- Season? Summer
T- Tag three (4) people - Ana, Shannon and Bobby, I don't know anybody else that hasn't already been tagged...
U - Unknown fact about me? I was really tall once but I got this crazy bacterial infection and they had to remove the bottom halves of my legs. They got this amazing Swedish plastic surgeon to reattach my feet, you can't even tell.
V- Vegetables you do not like? Cauliflower, ewwww
W- Worst habits? Not calling back
X- X-rays you have had? Teeth
Y- your favorite food? Cheese
Z - Zodiac Sign? Cancer
Monday, July 07, 2008
Person 2: So what’s her name?
Person 1: I guess it’s Sunday.
Person 2: No, today is Monday, so what’s the baby’s name?
Person 1: They named her Sunday.
Person 2: Right, I get it, so what did they name her?
Person 1: They gave her the name Sunday.
Person 2: OK, I understand they named her Sunday, but what is her name?
Person 1: I’m telling you; it’s Sunday.
Person 2: No, get a calendar, it’s Monday, what is the baby’s f’ing name?
Person 1: I give up…
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Today is a good day in my book because I have been introduced to SPOGG, The Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar. The founder of this gem of a society needs to hightail it to my office and give my coworkers a whoopin’.
Here’s the mandatory disclaimer that you will see spelling and grammatical mistakes in my blog. I’m not perfect and I really don’t think I’m the queen of grammar (maybe just the princess, or the court jester). Anyway, I’m not trying to get all grammar elitist on you. I just think there are glaringly obvious imperfections in my coworkers’ emails and they should at least take a cursory glance at their compositions before hitting send. That’s all. Moving on…
My birthday is coming up and one of those SPOGG mugs would look mighty fine on my desk. Just sayin’.
Friday, June 13, 2008
I've been battling skull searing boredom at work lately. I don't think I can do one more crossword puzzle. My cubicle walls are closing in on me. I think it's time for an intervention. Let's get together, I'll pretend I don't know about it, and you'll fix a pitcher of margaritas and tell me I need a new job. Deal? Sweet. I'm free most weekends in July.
I took my car in for an oil change and now they're replacing my transmission. Does that seem weird to you? My car is only 2 years old. Now I'm driving Chaplin VW's loaner I have nicknamed the pukeymobile because it smells wretched. I drive with the window open most of the time and wash my hands immediately when I arrive at my destination. It doesn't have a sunroof or seat heaters and all the radio pre-sets are programmed to 100.7 The Wolf. I think this car is the portal to hell. My cubicle comes a close second. I think my cubicle is Satan's plan B in case the car doesn't whisk me away to hell as it's supposed to. Clever Satan, very clever.
Is the sun ever going to come out? Well? Is it?
And finally, TFI go F yourself. Maybe I'll be in a better mood tomorrow.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
I love Gwen Stefani. I think she's very creative (understatement and paging Captain Obvious). One thing though, I loathe the name of her clothing/accessories line L.A.M.B. This is an acronym for 4 of her favorite words: love, angel, music and baby. It's just so twee, so excruciatingly precious; it makes me want to throw up cotton candy into my glittered pink toilet that plays lullabies when you flush it. In every other aspect I think she's awesome. I don't even mind that she named her son Kingston. I kind of like it, and I have issues with names, big issues. So, I propose a switch-up. She should call her brand B.L.A.M or B.A.L.M, except B.A.L.M. includes the phrase "baby angel" which stirs up all that cotton candy in the pits of my stomach.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
I won’t post pictures of the destruction, of the collapsed school buildings or the wailing mothers grieving next to their children’s bodies. What I am going to do is ask you to think about the items that are surrounding you right now. Your shoes were made in China; I’m pretty sure about that. Some of your clothes were made there as well. Most of the things on your desk are from China. The chair you’re sitting in: made in China. Your keyboard? Chinese in origin. Your phone, pen, stapler, water bottle, scissors, tape dispenser, purse, mouse pad, bulletin board, filing cabinet, carpet, etc…all made in China.
So let’s get to the point here. Please donate money to help the people who supply you with your “stuff” every day. You can donate here. You can also search online for any organization that can help the victims of the earthquake and make a donation. I’m not partial to one charity over another; I just think these people work very hard to supply us with the things on which we depend. The least we can do is help them in a time of need.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
A, B, C and D are a Greek system of sorts and band together against the other letters. In the alphabet world these 4 are the “popular crowd” and make fun of the less socially accepted letters like the weirdo Q and O the fat guy. M and W are dating. It’s cute. Nobody ever expected these two to hook up, they’re total opposites.
Y is elusive, a bit of a recluse. X sits in the back of class and doesn’t raise his hand very much.
Before you label me a complete geek think of your own little oddities. Maybe you relate more to numbers, maybe you can’t go up a set of stairs without counting them, perhaps you pretend you host a cooking show while you prepare dinner or maybe you talk to yourself in the car or in the shower. I think we all have ways to occupy our minds during the downtime. What’s something you do that I might think is weird?
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Whitney and Jonathan Speir at Brown Sugar Design did such a great job reading my mind. They were also unflinchingly patient with my indecisiveness as well as my mother. The invitations, place cards and table numbers were one of my favorite things about the wedding. Some other great things were the tequila bar, my shoes and marrying Dan, of course.
Click here to see some more details about the book and the many beautiful creations from Brown Sugar Design.
Monday, May 05, 2008
It’s not common for somebody to tell you what really happened that day. Tecate, Corona and every Mexican restaurant in town are hoping you and your wallet will show up and celebrate the outcome of a viciously fought battle. I’m sorry to disappoint you but I hope you enjoy your tacos tonight knowing the truth. You’re welcome
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Anyhoo, I made this sign to tape onto the boxes containing breakables:
What do you think? Effective, no? I think it gets the point across. Plus I won't have to write on the box with a Sharpie. There's something about a fine point Sharpie that just doesn't work on a big cardboard box and I'm not about to go buy a big fat smelly marker just for one move. Do you think I've thought about this too much? I wonder if I can just print my sign onto sticker paper. But wait, what's cheaper, a big marker or a package of sticker paper? Oh no, I've thought myself into a dilemma.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Obviously Joe Rogan would win every event except the smarmy yet charming grimace/smile combo throw down which would clearly go to Jeff Probst. The speed painting challenge may go to Paige Davis but I'll bet Rogan is a whiz with a paint roller. The only thing Allison Sweeney would win is the how to pretend you're sad that you just sent a fat person home contest. The participants would be voted off by their fellow contestants in a grandiose tribal torch bearing, flower giving, spider eating ceremony and the person who gets kicked off is told the most jarring send-off in reality show history: You are out and you are not the biggest loser but you are the weakest link goodbye and the tribe has spoken and said you're a liar and by the way you're fired see you later decorator p.s. you can't have this rose.
What do you think? You would watch it, right?
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
This is my dog Lola. For awhile we thought she might be a Schnoodle (half Schnauzer - half Poodle) but now we're pretty sure she's pure Schnauzer. A few weeks ago they switched her at the groomers and gave Dan back the wrong dog. He actually left with Luna, the identical Mini Schnauzer. It was a mess. Lola loves to chew dirty socks. Her new favorite hobby is stealing the socks off my niece Carolina's feet. This is Carolina:
I am in love with her. Notice that she is in my mother's arms. My mom has not put her down since the minute she was born. For real, she has been holding her for 3 months and 2 days. We are expecting to surgically separate them on Carolina's 18th birthday. Carolina throws up a lot. I am told that most babies throw up a lot but I'm not inclined to believe it. If I did I would never have children of my own. So let's pretend Carolina is some kind of vomiting freak child and most kids don't actually reveal the contents of their stomachs until they are 14 and drink an entire Strawberry Fields Boones and three Busch Ices and throw up all over their friend's parent's carpet in which case I don't have to deal with it. Humor me.
I don't have a clever transition into the next picture so here it is:
This is our bungalow in Bora Bora. We went there for our honeymoon and it was freakin amazing. If you ever get the chance I would highly recommend going there. Be aware that a drink costs $25 at any hotel. Don't fret, you can go to the grocery store and get Tahiti Drink, possibly the best liquid concoction ever devised by man. It's fruit punch and alcohol mixed in a handy carton. You must know the fruit punch is fresh juice from Bora Bora's vast array of tropical fruits. The alcohol, um, I'm not so sure what exactly the alcohol is, but trust me, it is delicious. Flights leave from LA daily, don't try to finagle any upgrades because you're on your honeymoon. So is everybody else.
That concludes my picture post. I hope you enjoyed the break between the bothersome text.