Monday, November 23, 2009



Elusive grey stuffed hamster, responds to the name Numnums
3" tall, .4lbs
Identifying marks: white heart on back, pink plastic nose, beady little eyes
Considered extremely cuddly, hard to find, is known to make rare appearances during holiday sales at discount department stores. Beware the throngs of elbow throwing adults if Numnums is spotted. Proceed with caution.

Is It January Yet?

It's the most wonderful time of the year! And by wonderful I mean stressful and cold and filled with greedy consumerism and the brain numbing sounds of Mariah Carey singing Christmas music and overworked baristas steaming eggnog. Kill me now.

Dan's super adorable niece Chloe really really wants a Zhu Zhu hamster pet for Christmas. She wants the grey one named Numnums with the white heart on his back. So we decided to buy her one. Not so fast. I quickly Googled it and found one on Amazon. All was well, right? Um, no. Thank goodness we called Dan's brother Mike to make sure which one she wanted because he was surprised to hear that we had found one and quickly alerted us to the fact that they normally only cost $10. So how much was I about to fork over for a small stuffed hamster with a funny name? 64 bucks. That's right, I was about to get completely taken by some enterprising seller on Amazon who saw an early trend and snatched up as many Zhu Zhus as she could and is now sitting on a big pile of money and laughing. Sweet.

And this is a perfect example of why I don't like Christmas: the fact that somebody is likely going to get trampled and die at WalMart on Friday over a stuffed toy. It's sad, just sad.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Kitchen Fail (unless the goal was to bake a cake that looks like a pile of shit)

Dear Williams Sonoma,

 I think it is totally unaceptable for you to send me a catalog with a picture of this and imply that I can recreate it at home.

You need to add a disclaimer that novice bakers and otherwise failures in the kitchen need to avoid such projects that will leave them with four totally shitty looking chocolate cakes that do not even remotely resemble an Oreo cookie. Please refrain from luring me into your store with pretty pictures of beautiful feasts.


Thursday, November 12, 2009

You Can Now Cut Me With a Rusty Knife

Sorry for my absence. I was recovering from Bronchitis and the weirdest ailment yet, a bad reaction to a Tetanus shot. I went to the doctor on Friday after Operation Pho did not work in evicting Mr. Mucus from my chest cavity. The friendly nurse persuaded me to get a Tetanus shot since I was approximately 26 years overdue for one. I resisted, after all, you can get a Tetanus shot when you really need it: at the emergency room. However, she dazzled me with talk of "the new Tetanus shot" that also protects against Whooping Cough and bad hair days. So I caved. Cut to Saturday morning when I wake up and can't move my arm. For the next couple days my arm was a heavy log hanging from my shoulder, unable to operate. I also had a fever and a bad case of the whinies (sorry Dan). By Monday I could move my arm but it still hurt. Today I still have some swelling but it feels much better. The moral of this story is: don't let the nurse or the doctor up sell you. They are a business too but they benefit from the advantage of scaring you with threats to your health. If you go in for Bronchitis, don't leave with a Tetanus shot. Lesson learned.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

I wasn't looking for a tenant

Somebody has moved in. He's big, smelly, green and disgusting. It's this guy:

He moved into my chest cavity last night and is currently flipping channels with his feet up. I took some Mucinex this morning in an eviction attempt but he's a stubborn tenant and so far is refusing to vacate. I think operation Pho might do the trick. I'll let you know.

Monday, November 02, 2009

2 birthdays + 1 holiday = busy weekend

Happy 30th birthdays Amy and Kristi! Two of my favorite people turned 30 this weekend, Kristi on Halloween and Amy the day after. I hope you guys had a great weekend and lots of fun at your parties.

Amy is the blonde one. Check out the adorable dress, so appropriate no? Love it.
Picture courtesy of my FB photo-robbing skills.

Here's the recently engaged Kristi before she went to the dark side. Relax, I'm talking about her hair, it's black now.

I love you both and can't wait for what the future has in store for all of us. Weddings, houses, maybe babies? We'll see...

Skinny? Not So Much

I thought I would get away with not posting anything about the skinny jeans I bought on Friday. But Amber, you are an observant one, so here's the post.
After a few years of contemplating and procrastinating, I finally broke down and bought a pair of skinny jeans. I realize skinny jeans are no novelty and nothing new but it took me a long time to catch up to this trend. Let's not get carried away and think I'm actually going to post a picture of myself in the jeans, that would be silly. Instead I'll show you this (picture them minus the rolled bottom):

and this:

and tell you I wore them together with a simple black top. Satisfied?

U2 at BC Place: A for Effort

On Wednesday we went to Vancouver with the Dunns to drink in milliliters, drive in kilometers, pay in loonies and toonies, get stuck in horrendous Canadian traffic for no reason at all and, oh, right, to see U2 live at BC Place. We had dinner reservations at Brix but sadly did not make it because the guy in charge of deciding which lanes to open in the George Massey tunnel was drunk and high and clearly not doing his job. Side note - Dan and his parents were in a horrible car accident in said Massey tunnel. A drunk, high, stupid, moron gang banger was going many many kilometers per hour and rear ended Dan's parent's car. His little gangbangermobile flipped and started bouncing back and forth across the tunnel, repeatedly hitting each wall. He was sliding so fast Dan's dad had to hit the brakes to avoid hitting him. It was awful, this idiot and his gang banger girlfriend bloodied and hanging upside down by their seat belts in the dark tunnel. Scary. We generally don't like the George Massey tunnel and the scary things that happen there so it was really unfortunate that commuting Canadians and concert going Americans had to sit for over two hours to get through the tunnel which was closed down to one lane. Ugh.
After much hand wringing we finally got into town, checked into our hotel, had a few drinks and ate dinner. By the time we made it into BC Place I was ready to dance, sing and, of course, march around to "Sunday Bloody Sunday". Alas, it was not to be. Although U2 put amazing energy into the performance I came away from the concert with a bit of complacency and disappointment. The stage, albeit elaborate and expensive, was overdone. There was a giant screen in the middle that was pretty cool but it made me feel like I was watching a music video. Instead of watching the actual band members, I kept catching myself watching the screen. No offense guys but I didn't drive all that way to watch a video, you know? Also, they played way way way too much new stuff. Let's get real here for a minute. How much new U2 have you heard? What's that? Hardly any? Yeah, me too. Oh yeah and the rest of the people at the concert too. You could immediately feel the energy drain from the venue as soon as they started to play a new song that nobody knew. I wish they had played more hits and kept us on our feet and dancing.
I'm not negative Nancy; I do have to give big kudos to all 4 band members. They are what, about 50 now? Their enthusiasm and charisma was incredible. They kept the political messages to a bearable amount and did not waver in their energy. I appreciate the fact that they've been playing together for years and still manage to keep their show fresh and look like they enjoy each other's company. Well done gentlemen.
Here's a picture of the stage that I stole off of Google Images, it was pretty intense, with moving bridges and lots of lights. I would recommend you go see them at Qwest Field in June if you get the chance but you should definitely hit up iTunes first and catch up on the new stuff, you'll need it.