Let the wedding season...begin?

The wedding season usually starts in May or June. This year, as Stevie Wonder aptly put it there were, “no wedding Saturdays within the month of June.” Our wedding season started last weekend.

Amy and Taylor’s wedding was beautiful. Of course I drank too much and sent myself to bed around 11. Typical. I also managed to take 1 blurry picture of the bride and groom and 2 pictures of myself looking fat in the dress. So, you won’t get to see Amy’s stunning dress, amazing bird cage veil, fabulous orange flowers and gorgeous bridesmaids. You also won’t see the splendor that is Alderbrook on a perfectly sunny day. Sorry.

There were plenty of shenanigans. There is a large bouquet of flowers on my kitchen counter right now. They were given to me as an, “I’m sorry you had to clean up my puke, tackle me as I tried to run away wearing only boxers and stay up with me all night to make sure I was breathing.” bouquet. Apology accepted.

This weekend we’re off to San Diego for Bryce and Tisha’s wedding. Dan and Bryce went to school together at USC. Dan is looking forward to seeing his friends from school and I’m looking forward to a nice weekend in the sun.

In a couple more weeks we’ll yodel all the way to Leavenworth, everyone’s favorite fake Bavarian village, for a family friend’s wedding. In October we’ll attend our friends Marissa and Ali’s wedding at Newcastle.

As most of you prepare to settle in for fall and winter we’re just getting started with gifts, cards, dresses, cuff links, RSVPs, toasts and dancing.

After the wedding season ends we’ll be headed straight for baby mania. But that’s a post for another day.

Retractions

I have a few corrections to make.

1. My sincerest apologies go out to the scientists and workers that put rounded metal poles into Green Lake in the early '80s. I did not intend to offend them by calling them creepy weirdos and claiming they are the "stuff of which urban legends are made." One piece of advice though, next time you insert anything into a lake that nature can gradually form into a weapon, go back and check a few years later. Do it for the kids.

2. I did indeed look fat in the dress I bought for Amy and Taylor's wedding. The print doesn't lend itself to flattering photographs. I will not post any pictures of myself in this dress. Trust. It didn't look good.

3. I do not consider any of my friends Suzy McFluzy (promiscuous yet lovable). If you think I was referring to you please note that all characters in that post are mere fiction and solely the creation of the author. Any resemblance to an actual person, living or deceased, is purely coincidence.

Rainiohead

There is one band for which I'll gladly stand in the rain to see. Radiohead did not disappoint last night. The played an amazing set. I was completely mesmerized during the entire show. I would tell you all about it but this article sums it up well. I'm bad at writing music reviews so I'll leave it to the pros. Check out the pictures so you can see Thom Yorke wearing some sweet red pants. 

I have to give Dan a huge shout out for not only buying me the tickets but driving me there, buying drinks and dinner and standing in the rain. I've got me one hell of a husband.

I've been waiting for tomorrow for a long time

Tomorrow is the long awaited Radiohead show. I've been in a funk this week, kind of on the verge of crying for a few days. I'm usually not like this but I really hate my job and the shoe world is having its way with me. I'm afraid I'll get to the concert tomorrow and burst into tears at the sight of Thom Yorke and band mates.  It's really a lethal combination, me and my emotions paired with some crazy nonsensical amazing live music. We'll see how it goes. I will try to not totally geek out but I can't promise anything. Reviews to follow...

PS - are you hiring?

Writers, Gather Round

Close your eyes and imagine Tim Gunn saying it, "Designers, gather round." Except it's not Tim Gunn, it's me, and I'm calling you all to gather around me and listen. Listen intently because what I will tell you is paramount to the success and readability of your future blog posts, emails, essays, love notes and manifestos. When you are referring to yourself there is a simple way to decide if you should use me or I. 

If you went to the store with Suzy McFluzy, your promiscuous yet lovable friend, you would say, "Suzy and I went to the store and bought a pregnancy test." If you are posting a picture of yourself and Suzy you would add the caption, "Me and Suzy at Planned Parenthood." 

Here's how you can tell which pronoun to use. Say the sentence to yourself and omit Suzy, she's kind of a skank anyway. Say, "I went to the store to buy wholesome things such as shampoo and nail polish remover." You wouldn't say, "Me went to the store" so you shouldn't say that if Suzy is around either. 

Similarly, if you posted a picture of yourself you would not caption it, "I serving food to the homeless." So if Suzy came to the food kitchen (which I doubt because she's too busy meeting guys she met on Craigslist) you need to use the correct pronoun me if you're talking about the both of you. Get it? Good. 

I don't want to see anymore misused pronouns.

Make it work.

1 year ago today

In no particular order:

1 down, 79 to go

A year ago today I married my BFF Dan. It was an amazing day. Despite the exhaustion from the week leading up to the wedding we managed to have a great time and dance until the DJ said no mas. Our officiant Marta told us we could expect to be married for 80 years with the way people are living so much longer. My sister said we both looked slightly mortified at that moment. I remember laughing and thinking, "good god, is it possible?" Well, I hope so. I would be lucky to be married to Dan for 80 years.
We're celebrating tonight with some vino and tapas at the Woodmark's new wine bar Bin Vivant. Check back in for a review and some wedding pics too.

Listen up

The word height does not have an h on the end. It's pronounced the way it's spelled, with a t sound.

Carry on.

This is a post about fashion

Despite almost 5 years in the fashion industry I know nil about style. My tiny oppressive cubicle borders not only our material department but also PD (product development) where all the six-foot girls in skinny jeans sport designer tank tops every day of the year, travel the world buying shoes and ultimately churn out the designs for the shoes you see at various retailers across the country. I am Ugly Betty. And I don't care. 

It's kind of surprising when I go shopping and find something I think may grant me entry to the fabulous world you stylish people inhabit. I present to you the outfit I bought yesterday to wear to Amy and Taylor's wedding. I had some help thanks to Kristi, Ally, Cyn and Bets. I can't make a decision about what to buy in any circumstance involving fashion so it helps to have good friends to give me honest opinions. 

First, the dress:

Apart from standing up straight, this chick needs to not look fat in the dress, because I don't. 

I have a little bit of the inevitable arm pit fat that sticks out in a strapless dress but I'll do some upper body work on the Wii fit to see if it will go away. I would normally not buy a dress with a big print but this one works to my advantage with the elongating line down the front. 

Next, the bracelet:

It was on sale. 

Finally, the ring: 

I found this little beauty at Forever 21 for $5. Usually I feel an astronaut at the bottom of the ocean when I'm in Forever 21. The name itself mocks me as if to say, you are not 21, not even close sister. We went to the new 2 story FT1 (as I heard a 14 year-old call it) at Southcenter. I walked through the whole thing and even tried some things on. The only thing I came away with was this lovely little ring. I might not wear it to the wedding but it was a fun thing I wanted to show you. 

So there you have it. Feel free to comment and tell me what a great job I did. If you hate it I don't want to know, no reason to feed my insecurities. 

One more thing, I found my soul mate of a purse at Coach. You can buy it for me here. 

Dunns on Films

I am excited to announce that Betsy and Josh have finally gotten their movie review blog up. The Dunners watch every single movie. I'm serious, they've seen every comedy, drama, documentary, mocumentary, horror film and animated movie ever made. They are always talking movies and I have never seen the movie they're talking about. I'm looking forward to reading reviews about what to see and what to skip. I totally trust their taste. They are friends with me, after all.