Writers, Gather Round

Close your eyes and imagine Tim Gunn saying it, "Designers, gather round." Except it's not Tim Gunn, it's me, and I'm calling you all to gather around me and listen. Listen intently because what I will tell you is paramount to the success and readability of your future blog posts, emails, essays, love notes and manifestos. When you are referring to yourself there is a simple way to decide if you should use me or I. 

If you went to the store with Suzy McFluzy, your promiscuous yet lovable friend, you would say, "Suzy and I went to the store and bought a pregnancy test." If you are posting a picture of yourself and Suzy you would add the caption, "Me and Suzy at Planned Parenthood." 

Here's how you can tell which pronoun to use. Say the sentence to yourself and omit Suzy, she's kind of a skank anyway. Say, "I went to the store to buy wholesome things such as shampoo and nail polish remover." You wouldn't say, "Me went to the store" so you shouldn't say that if Suzy is around either. 

Similarly, if you posted a picture of yourself you would not caption it, "I serving food to the homeless." So if Suzy came to the food kitchen (which I doubt because she's too busy meeting guys she met on Craigslist) you need to use the correct pronoun me if you're talking about the both of you. Get it? Good. 

I don't want to see anymore misused pronouns.

Make it work.