Mandatory post about fall

It appears that I, along with every other blogger, love fall. I like the smell of the air on a crisp sunny day in October. I love to be surprised and yanked out of the monotony of my daily commute by a tree-lined street that has quickly and gloriously turned into a masterpiece.
I love bite-sized candy especially Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Snickers and Kit-Kats. I love sweaters, comfy coats and scarves. I like Starbucks apple cider with whipped cream and caramel sauce.
This post wouldn't be complete without a list of the things I hate about fall. You didn't think I was going to leave you on such a precious little note, did you?
I hate things that are pumpkin flavored. Who decided to take a gourd and use its contents to flavor things such as pies and lattes? Bad call, person who invented pumpkin flavored things, bad call.
I hate eggnog. This stems from my days as a barista. Eggnog is nearly impossible to steam. The sound of steaming eggnog is almost as bad as the sound of Christmas music (yes, I hate Christmas music. I'll elaborate in a separate post when the time is right). If it gets too hot it turns to scrambled eggs. If you order an extra hot eggnog latte don't be surprised if it comes with a punch in the face.
I hate trying to figure out what to be for Halloween. Dressing up isn't so bad, it's the thought process that precedes the party that I hate. What will I wear, where do I find it, how do I pull it off? Ugh, too much time and money for something so silly. Amy, I am totally looking forward to your party, don't take it personally.
Mainly, I hate knowing the holidays are "just around the corner". Corporate America thinks the start of fall is a great time to load up the shelves with Christmas decorations and wrapping paper. I have a long and bitter relationship with the holidays. I hope they go as quick as they come.
So there you have a balanced list of things I love and hate about this wonderful season. It's the yin and the yang, if you will. What do you hate about fall? Do you hate that the names of seasons aren't capitalized? Yeah, me too.

Catching up

I have a few things I want to say, I'm behind on the blogging:
1. Congrats to the Kalamakis family on the birth of beautiful Payton Andrew! I wish you guys the very best and send you lots of love!
2. Congrats to Cynthia and Will on their engagement. What a surprise! I can't wait for the planning and the big day. We're dying to find out where the wedding will be, make a decision immediately!
3. I just finished reading My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Piccault. Wow was I pissed off after I read the last chapter. Man, talk about a stupid ending. I feel robbed; I spent all this time reading the book only to be slapped in the face in the end. Hated it. hated, hated, hated it.
4. I am eating a Cup Noodles (I thought there was an O in there but apparently not). It's really good. It reminds me of cheap lunches in the student center at LW. Good times. As a side note, it is impossible to gracefully eat noodle soup; it is also impossible to gracefully walk downhill. These are two things I am sure of.
5. I am not so sure what's wrong with my furry friend Lola. After a trip to the emergency vet (cue cash register ringing sound), we think she might have a disease called Addison's. We don't know for sure yet but it's really very sad and expensive. The disease is treatable but it's hard to see our little buddy so sick. I am wondering if I should have kids; some things are really hard to handle.

You, M.D.

I feel awful. I've had a cough for a couple of weeks but today is the apex of my discomfort so far.
The cough has worsened, I can only take short breaths (I can't take a big deep breath without coughing), my chest feels congested and heavy and I have a little bit of pain like heartburn.
Before I go and do something erratic like go to the doctor I'd like you to take a stab at my diagnosis. Please also include your recommended treatment.

Random + Unexpected = Fantastic

This morning my very grumpy, ornery 50-something coworker called me into his cubicle. I thought, "oh great, I made another mistake and I'm screwed." Turns out he just wanted me to listen to his favorite song. I was thoroughly expecting Steely Dan, Chicago or Hall and Oates but I got in there and he was dancing and pumping his fist to some new Pink song. He even sang a lyric out loud. It was "I want to fight" or something like that. Hilarious!

Confessions of a hoarder

The battle against junk is the never ending story at my place. I can’t say, “never ending story” without singing it like the theme song of the movie. How bad did you want to be the princess when you were a kid? Yeah, me too. Did you hang a necklace on your head and get teary eyed over your impending doom? No? Oh, nevermind. Moving on…
On Saturday morning we donated a load of crap to the Goodwill. After that we went to my parent’s house for lunch and they were cleaning the garage. A few hours later we left with more junk than we gave away that morning.
Here’s the breakdown, did we lose or did we score?

Gave away:
6 blue wine glasses left in old apartment by crazy ex-roommate
1 annoyingly short scarf
2 Helly Hansen jackets in good condition but embroidered with a large philanthropic logo and never worn
1 homemade cave girl Halloween costume
1 coffee percolator without its cord
1 ancient Pyrex dish sans lid
1 terra cotta dish of unspecified purpose
2 bedding sets

Took home:
1 red fuzzy OSU Sooner’s golf club cover (disclaimer: I’m from OK)
1 black shelf
1 German rotating Christmas ornament thing w/ candles
2 boxes of Lake City Rotary 1999 golf balls
1 portable tool set
1 All Clad slow cooker
1 Polo fleece jacket
1 shoe box of old pictures from Jr High and HS
1 pistachio tin full of old notes from HS (funny stuff, BTW)
1 shoe box of old craft supplies

Now, before you vote that we totally scored I have to let you know that the All Clad slow cooker was ours to begin with. I let my parents borrow it a couple of weeks ago and just took it back. I think we scored but Dan thinks I’m a crazy hoarder. What do you think?

Happy Birthday Stacie

I'll call you, I promise.

And I would never name my daughter Bristol or Willow either

As I methodically search for a job I often come accross really appealing jobs for which I am not qualified. These jobs pay a lot better than my current one and require a lot more experience than I have.
So, I don't apply. Just sayin'...

Vegas in 1000 words

Vegas in 10 words

Ditch Fridays

Vodka

Michael Phelps, missed connection

Beautiful bachelorette Marissa

The Koivus

I figured sooner or later somebody would throw me a bone and send me pictures of Amy and Taylor's wedding. Click here to check them out.
See? It was fabulous.

"You stay classy San Diego"

Our weekend getaway was fantastic. It didn't start off that well though. We flew down on the dirtiest plane ever. I didn't want to touch anything. As if that wasn't bad enough, the guy sitting next to me was picking his chin hairs and, not kidding, sticking them to the window. He did this the entire flight. I was so appalled. It took awhile to shake it off and get over it. 

We got in early and spent the day walking around the Gaslamp District. The next day we went out to Coronado to check out the big hotel there. It was very nice.

The wedding was last night and it was amazing. It was one of those weddings where you're just amazed at the scale and expense of it all. The theme was almost exactly the same as ours. Trisha had enormous centerpieces with lemons and limes in them and the favors were lemon drops. I kept saying it was the same as our wedding but way better. Dan said it was our wedding plus $75,000.00 and I think that's an accurate assessment. 

I hate to tell you about this awesome wedding and not post any pictures. I had every intention of taking tons of pics but I just didn't follow through. I'll see if they have a website or something and post the link. 

Next weekend I'm off to Vegas to celebrate Marissa the bride-to-be. I'll make more of an effort to take pics, promise.

Let the wedding season...begin?

The wedding season usually starts in May or June. This year, as Stevie Wonder aptly put it there were, “no wedding Saturdays within the month of June.” Our wedding season started last weekend.

Amy and Taylor’s wedding was beautiful. Of course I drank too much and sent myself to bed around 11. Typical. I also managed to take 1 blurry picture of the bride and groom and 2 pictures of myself looking fat in the dress. So, you won’t get to see Amy’s stunning dress, amazing bird cage veil, fabulous orange flowers and gorgeous bridesmaids. You also won’t see the splendor that is Alderbrook on a perfectly sunny day. Sorry.

There were plenty of shenanigans. There is a large bouquet of flowers on my kitchen counter right now. They were given to me as an, “I’m sorry you had to clean up my puke, tackle me as I tried to run away wearing only boxers and stay up with me all night to make sure I was breathing.” bouquet. Apology accepted.

This weekend we’re off to San Diego for Bryce and Tisha’s wedding. Dan and Bryce went to school together at USC. Dan is looking forward to seeing his friends from school and I’m looking forward to a nice weekend in the sun.

In a couple more weeks we’ll yodel all the way to Leavenworth, everyone’s favorite fake Bavarian village, for a family friend’s wedding. In October we’ll attend our friends Marissa and Ali’s wedding at Newcastle.

As most of you prepare to settle in for fall and winter we’re just getting started with gifts, cards, dresses, cuff links, RSVPs, toasts and dancing.

After the wedding season ends we’ll be headed straight for baby mania. But that’s a post for another day.

Retractions

I have a few corrections to make.

1. My sincerest apologies go out to the scientists and workers that put rounded metal poles into Green Lake in the early '80s. I did not intend to offend them by calling them creepy weirdos and claiming they are the "stuff of which urban legends are made." One piece of advice though, next time you insert anything into a lake that nature can gradually form into a weapon, go back and check a few years later. Do it for the kids.

2. I did indeed look fat in the dress I bought for Amy and Taylor's wedding. The print doesn't lend itself to flattering photographs. I will not post any pictures of myself in this dress. Trust. It didn't look good.

3. I do not consider any of my friends Suzy McFluzy (promiscuous yet lovable). If you think I was referring to you please note that all characters in that post are mere fiction and solely the creation of the author. Any resemblance to an actual person, living or deceased, is purely coincidence.

Rainiohead

There is one band for which I'll gladly stand in the rain to see. Radiohead did not disappoint last night. The played an amazing set. I was completely mesmerized during the entire show. I would tell you all about it but this article sums it up well. I'm bad at writing music reviews so I'll leave it to the pros. Check out the pictures so you can see Thom Yorke wearing some sweet red pants. 

I have to give Dan a huge shout out for not only buying me the tickets but driving me there, buying drinks and dinner and standing in the rain. I've got me one hell of a husband.

I've been waiting for tomorrow for a long time

Tomorrow is the long awaited Radiohead show. I've been in a funk this week, kind of on the verge of crying for a few days. I'm usually not like this but I really hate my job and the shoe world is having its way with me. I'm afraid I'll get to the concert tomorrow and burst into tears at the sight of Thom Yorke and band mates.  It's really a lethal combination, me and my emotions paired with some crazy nonsensical amazing live music. We'll see how it goes. I will try to not totally geek out but I can't promise anything. Reviews to follow...

PS - are you hiring?

Writers, Gather Round

Close your eyes and imagine Tim Gunn saying it, "Designers, gather round." Except it's not Tim Gunn, it's me, and I'm calling you all to gather around me and listen. Listen intently because what I will tell you is paramount to the success and readability of your future blog posts, emails, essays, love notes and manifestos. When you are referring to yourself there is a simple way to decide if you should use me or I. 

If you went to the store with Suzy McFluzy, your promiscuous yet lovable friend, you would say, "Suzy and I went to the store and bought a pregnancy test." If you are posting a picture of yourself and Suzy you would add the caption, "Me and Suzy at Planned Parenthood." 

Here's how you can tell which pronoun to use. Say the sentence to yourself and omit Suzy, she's kind of a skank anyway. Say, "I went to the store to buy wholesome things such as shampoo and nail polish remover." You wouldn't say, "Me went to the store" so you shouldn't say that if Suzy is around either. 

Similarly, if you posted a picture of yourself you would not caption it, "I serving food to the homeless." So if Suzy came to the food kitchen (which I doubt because she's too busy meeting guys she met on Craigslist) you need to use the correct pronoun me if you're talking about the both of you. Get it? Good. 

I don't want to see anymore misused pronouns.

Make it work.

1 year ago today

In no particular order:

1 down, 79 to go

A year ago today I married my BFF Dan. It was an amazing day. Despite the exhaustion from the week leading up to the wedding we managed to have a great time and dance until the DJ said no mas. Our officiant Marta told us we could expect to be married for 80 years with the way people are living so much longer. My sister said we both looked slightly mortified at that moment. I remember laughing and thinking, "good god, is it possible?" Well, I hope so. I would be lucky to be married to Dan for 80 years.
We're celebrating tonight with some vino and tapas at the Woodmark's new wine bar Bin Vivant. Check back in for a review and some wedding pics too.

Listen up

The word height does not have an h on the end. It's pronounced the way it's spelled, with a t sound.

Carry on.

This is a post about fashion

Despite almost 5 years in the fashion industry I know nil about style. My tiny oppressive cubicle borders not only our material department but also PD (product development) where all the six-foot girls in skinny jeans sport designer tank tops every day of the year, travel the world buying shoes and ultimately churn out the designs for the shoes you see at various retailers across the country. I am Ugly Betty. And I don't care. 

It's kind of surprising when I go shopping and find something I think may grant me entry to the fabulous world you stylish people inhabit. I present to you the outfit I bought yesterday to wear to Amy and Taylor's wedding. I had some help thanks to Kristi, Ally, Cyn and Bets. I can't make a decision about what to buy in any circumstance involving fashion so it helps to have good friends to give me honest opinions. 

First, the dress:

Apart from standing up straight, this chick needs to not look fat in the dress, because I don't. 

I have a little bit of the inevitable arm pit fat that sticks out in a strapless dress but I'll do some upper body work on the Wii fit to see if it will go away. I would normally not buy a dress with a big print but this one works to my advantage with the elongating line down the front. 

Next, the bracelet:

It was on sale. 

Finally, the ring: 

I found this little beauty at Forever 21 for $5. Usually I feel an astronaut at the bottom of the ocean when I'm in Forever 21. The name itself mocks me as if to say, you are not 21, not even close sister. We went to the new 2 story FT1 (as I heard a 14 year-old call it) at Southcenter. I walked through the whole thing and even tried some things on. The only thing I came away with was this lovely little ring. I might not wear it to the wedding but it was a fun thing I wanted to show you. 

So there you have it. Feel free to comment and tell me what a great job I did. If you hate it I don't want to know, no reason to feed my insecurities. 

One more thing, I found my soul mate of a purse at Coach. You can buy it for me here.