What happens in Kenmore...

Dan went to Vegas this weekend and I wasn't invited. I've been plotting ways to stick it to him and here's what I'm gonna do:

1. Beat all his Wii Fit records, especially the ski jump so he'll come home and feel the same as every time I whoop him in bowling.
2. Teach Lola a new trick that she'll only do for me. Suck it Dan.
3. Watch all his Tivo'd shows and erase them. When he's back I'll only tell him about the first half of each episode and say, "I guess you'll just have to catch a rerun".
4. Do my laundry and leave his dirty clothes in the hamper, sucks going into work on Monday smelling bad.
5. Cook up his favorite meal and store no leftovers.

Who am I kidding? That list is just a bunch of thinly veiled chores and pitiful sessions of gluttony and revenge. I will do none of the above. I hope he wins big because at the very least he'll owe me a nice dinner out.