A Post About Height

I now own snowshoes and a headlamp but that's not what this post is about.
I saw a coworker/friend in the hall last week and she was wearing the cutest freaking outfit and cute-as boots. Revision: she was rocking cute-as boots and I couldn't help but appreciate how unapologetically tall she is. She's not freakishly tall, just very tall, very I-don't-give-a-damn-and-I'm-wearing-these-big-boots-today-so-there tall. And I thought that I'm the same way except the other direction. I am unapologetically short, or at least I hope so. I stopped growing in the sixth grade and had to make the decision very early on to not care. Sure, I blended in with the grade school field trips that walked the campus up in Bellingham. Yes, sometimes I have to ask strangers to get stuff off store shelves for me. Of course, there's enough room behind my driver's seat for Andre the Giant and a few of his friends. What's the point in lamenting? Am I going to invest in big shoes, wear them every day and give myself bunyons and hammer toes? Hell no! Am I going to save up for a painful and expensive bone stretching surgery? Nope. Do I care that I'm 2 inches away from legally requiring a booster seat in a car in the state of Washington? Yes, actually, that one is kind of disturbing.
I saw this special on 20/20 once where parents were spending tens of thousands of dollars to give their kids HGH (that's human growth hormone in case you aren't in the majors) in the hopes that they would not be, gasp, short. There wasn't any proof that this would work but the parents thought it was worth it so their kids could grow tall and be respected in society. What a bunch of crap! You know what I call that, besides crap? Hooey, shenanigans, absurdity, vanity, hogwash, shit, stupidity, super lame and being a re-taard (as in "The Hangover"). What's so bad about being short, other than being mistaken for a fourth grader and not being able to reach the 2 liter of Coke? Nothing! Buck up and deal with it you ninnies. Geez.
Wow, I'm glad I got that off my chest, it's a weight off these shoulders. Down here, yeah, these shoulders.