What's that feet? You need shoes?

Are your feet trying to tell you something? Tangent warning. When I went to Western there was an article in the student paper where this girl's feet told her they hated shoes and asked her to be free. She complied and never wore shoes again, even in the middle of winter. She was on shrooms when her feet talked to her, obviously, feet don't talk to sober people.

Aneeeeway, Report Shoes is having a sample sale on Saturday. If your feet haven't asked you not to, you should go. Here is the info:

Once again my lack of computer skills has caused deep shame to my family. Ok, not really but I can't figure out how to make the picture bigger so I'll just have to tell you:

Report Sample Sale

Lots of great shoes in sizes 6-11 from a variety of brands including Report, Report Signature, R2 and more.

Saturday June 20th from 10-1 at 13150 SE 32nd St Bellevue, WA 98005.

100% of the proceeds go to New Beginnings. Google them.

Don't miss it unless your hippie feet revolt.

Rambling, it's better than nothing. I hope.

Oh my, this blog is on the bottom of the list. What list you ask. Well, I'm not sure what list. It could be on the summer to do list right under watch HGTV, watch the real housewives of anywhere they happen to be showing and sleep. Or, it could be on the list of things I haven't done in awhile such as hot yoga, avoid dairy and clean my condo.
The past month has been pretty slow. Lola is as stinky as ever. She turned 5 on June 4th but hasn't gotten the memo that she needs to stop acting like a spoiled anxious puppy. I got her a portable water bowl so she can rehydrate on long walks. She really liked it and told me it's the second best birthday gift she's ever gotten right behind Mr. Monkey. She also thanked me for keeping her alive with powdered pancreas enzyme. I told her she was welcome and I'm happy to do it.
On June 6th I partook in slight shenanigans at Ana's bachelorette party. We had a suite at the Farimont (just call me Mrs. High Roller) where Ana opened gifts and we drank drinks. Then we had a fab dinner at Purple and then we went to a variety of strange bars. First was the "hipster" bar called Vessel. The tall, lanky concierge with a lisp told me it was cool. I should have known better. The place had 3 chairs and bar menu the length of an encylopedia (it even had a glossary in the back). The drinks were $12 (note to Vessel: you're not Vegas). I think if they charge $12 for a cocktail they should have more than 3 chairs.
We then hobbled our way to The Triple Door where there was nothing happening. So we went to Kell's which was great until I started drinking Jeager and Red Bull and dancing like a robot. The robot is pretty sweet but you have to be with people who get you and expect your retarded antics. My sister's friends don't really know me so I think they were kind of like, "what the hell". We had a great time though and my sister's friends are a really fun group of girls. I am looking forward to seeing them all again at the wedding. Maybe I'll introduce them to the Axl.

This is me holding back from some smart-ass comment about my burning workplace

My sister called me tonight to ask if I was aware that my office was on fire. I went online and sure enough, there was smoke billowing onto I-90 as the building burned. My company has two offices, our main building and another couple of offices in a shared building down the block. This shared space is called the Annex office and this is the one burning tonight. I work in the main building so luckily all my files and samples are spared. A lot of my coworkers aren't so lucky. I don't know the whole story or the extent of the damage yet. I'll let you know what happens. 

Just wanted to let you know

If you're looking for a good source of hydration without tons of calories or sugar (or gross fake sweeteners), then I have found the thing for you. Try Nuun. The fizzy tablets are similar to Airborne. Just drop one into your water bottle and it hydrates you better than water without the stomach ache that comes with gulping a cold Gatorade. Dan and I got some free samples at Beat the Bridge yesterday and we're hooked. It doesn't taste too sweet and it has a little bit of fizz to keep your water interesting. Their website also has tons of good info about hydration. I love finding a good product and sharing so here you go. Try it out and let me know what you think.

Somebody call BPS

This blog is ne-glec-ted! 

I say F it, there's no poem. Sorry Stacie, I love you. You sat next to McLovin courtside at an NBA playoff game. I don't feel so bad now.  When you're in town I'll buy you a box of Oh's.

Let's move on...

No time for poetry, I've got a vacation to plan

I send my sincerest apologies to those of you who were anticipating a poem about Stacie; I have to postpone the poem post (alliteration fans, rejoice) because there is bigger news to share.

For approximately 7 years I have been craving a jaunt to the land down under, you know, where women flow and men sunder (or whatever the lyrics are), the place where people smile and give you a Vegemite sandwich. Yes, Australia! I can only think of cliches so I might as well just throw them at you. I can hardly wait, I am counting the seconds, I am beside myself, this is a dream come true, this is something I've always wanted to do, etc, etc. Side note: the worst cliche of all time is fun in the sun. Please refrain from ever writing that, anywhere. ever.

Dan and I found reasonably priced tickets last week and booked the trip (admittedly, on a whim). I am so excited to see my friend Lill and her parents and finally meet her bf Jordan and her sister Alice. It's going to be hard to wait 10 months but I'm thankful for the extra time to plan and save money. Now if I could only get "Land Down Under" out of my head. Thanks a lot Men at Work.

I will get to the poem eventually. Patience people, patience.

And the blog post goes to...

Fine, I've milked out all the guesses I'm going to get. My very very favorite cereal currently costs only $2.00 at Safeway and leaves a film of grease on the roof of your mouth. I am talking about delicious Oh's. Congrats to Stacie who posted her guess and immediately emailed me at work to make sure she was right. Yes, Stass, all those summer mornings after cheer practice eating Oh's at my house finally paid off. I already wrote a post about Stacie (read it here), so I'm going to get creative and channel my inner Sylvia Plath. No, I'm not sticking my head in the oven, I'm writing a poem about Stacie. I haven't written a poem since Poetry 351 at Western so it might take me a couple of days to put this one together. Bear with me folks and stay tuned for a poetic gem about Stacie.

A contest! A random ass contest.

What's your favorite cereal? Are you an old soul who likes Raisin Bran? Are you a kid at heart and you love Fruit Loops or Cookie Crisp every morning? Are you a health nut and carefully eat Kashi Go Lean served with a measuring cup? Do you mix it up? Do you eat cereal for dinner sometimes?

If you were on the '97-'98 LWHS cheer squad (go Kangs) you know what my favorite cereal is because you came over to my house every day in the summer after 8am practice and we ate cereal and watched A Wedding Story before heading out to Stacie's house or Waverly to sunbathe on the dock.

If you can guess or remember the name of my very fav cereal I will write my next post about you (and only say very nice things)* Fire up those brains and write your answer in the comment section. Good luck!

*Prize subject to terms and conditions. The first person to guess correctly will be awarded with a blog post about him or her in which only very nice things will be said. Date and length of post are at author's discretion. No revisions or edits will be made after post is published. Post may contain picture of winner to be chosen by the author. The winner will also receive a box of author's very very favorite cereal. If winner lives in the greater Seattle area, the author might come and eat cereal at winner's house or invite winner to do the same at author's house. Date of cereal eating get-together to be chosen by mutual consent of winner and author. Please note that author only drinks soy milk.

Vote or Die Blog

This blog is amazing. Aimee and Scott are the blogging power couple. I love it!
**update: I should have posted a link to Aimee's blog. Isn't it great? Keep up the good work guys.

Hey big climber

Yesterday Betsy and I climbed 69 flights of stairs to the 75th floor of the Columbia Tower. I think we started on floor 5 and there's no floor 13 so the math should work out for the brainiacs reading this. Betsy absolutely smoked me. I didn't see her from floor 10 until the finish. She took off at a steady pace and made it to the top in under 20 minutes. I, on the other hand, had to stop every few floors to catch my breath, make sure I wasn't under cardiac arrest and check to see if my legs were still attached. Luckily, everything was in place and I finished in 30 minutes. I am so grateful to all of you for your generous donations and support. Those of you who donated will receive something in the mail shortly. Those of you who wished me luck and supported me, thank you! I could not have done it without you. Every time I wanted to die (about every other floor) I thought of all the people pulling for me and all the cancer patients and their families that deal with much more difficult struggles every single day.

I think Shelby and all the other talented photographers are laughing at these grainy pics but I wanted to show them to you anyway. Cameras were not allowed so we took these with my phone. Ignore the weird thing my hair is doing and focus on the awesome view. It was a welcome sight!

Jelly Bellies are not smelly jellies

Um ,what? I even confuse myself with this nonsense sometimes.

Ok, so, there is a tub of Jelly Bellies (would it be Bellys or Bellies? Paging the grammar police) in our lunch room. The tub has 49 flavors of jelly beans and a big spoon inviting you to come try each one. I filled up a Dixie cup and took them to my desk. I then proceeded to try them one at a time and guess the flavor. So far I've tried kiwi, kiwi strawberry, sour kiwi, kiwi pineapple and buttered popcorn. Obviously I suck at this game because they all taste like kiwi. And here's something to consider, I don't even like jelly beans. They all taste like gummy sugar once you eat through the top layer. Then they stick to your teeth. Oh, and it's pointless to guess the flavor by smelling them. They don't smell like anything. Is it possible that I'm so bored I've resorted to mindless jelly bean eating games? I'll be right back, I'm going to try and find a life.

One more reason to love NPR

NPR is streaming The Decemberists live performance of their new album The Hazards of Love in its entirety tonight in Austin at SXSW (that's South by Southwest to the layperson). 

Link up here. You're welcome.

Shave your armpits and put on a party hat. Let's Be Honest turns 1!

My little blog turns 1 today. I've enjoyed blogging about the past year. A few things happened that were notable, but mainly I just rambled and ranted. Thanks for reading and keep checking in, there is much more to come.

Things that are taking over the universe part II: Snuggee

As Facebook was slowly seeping its way into every aspect of my life there was another threatening menace right behind it: the Snuggee.
In case you live under a rock, the Snuggee is a blanket with sleeves. It comes in 3 designer colors, royal blue, burgundy and sage green (which looks more like pukey sea foam on the commercial). You can wear it while you knit in your favorite chair. You can wear it while you’re reading a book and if the phone rings you don’t have to look like an idiot doggy paddling your way out of your blanket to answer it. Your whole family can wear it outside while you roast marshmallows over a big gas fire pit. You can also take the fam to the ball game and wear your Snuggees. Your kids will stay warm and still be able to raise their arms to cheer for the home team. Call me silly but isn’t that basically what a coat is for? Does the Snuggee come with a hood to keep your head warm? No? Coat: 1, Snuggee: 0.
Everywhere I go people are talking about the damn Snuggee. It started when Kristi’s boyfriend got her one for Christmas. Then people were talking about it up in Bellingham one weekend. Then I went to dinner at my parent’s house and some of their friends were talking about it. We were talking about it one day in a meeting at work. Then, I saw the commercial for the Snugglette mini Snuggee for kids. After that people started talking about it on Facebook and that’s when my head exploded. Facebook and Snuggee are in cahoots to align and destroy the universe together. I am sure of it.

Bad Littlemeah, bad bad bad

I have neglected the blog and I apologize, especially after all you've done for me and the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I felt like I had all these things to blog about and then when I actually went to do it, the ideas all seemed stupid. I was like, "No, that's dumb. No, they won't care about that. No, that will gross them out." It was blogger's block at its worst.

So, here's something that has been on my mind a lot: Facebook. It might not be a new thing but over the span of a week I am now friends with most of my cousins in Mexico, Dan's brothers, my dad, my mother-in-law and some of my parents friends. Everyone has a freakin Facebook page.
Side note: My co-worker just emailed me that it's snowing. I don't sit by a window and she's in the neighboring building that we call The Annex. I told my cubicle neighbor, and, instead of walking over to a window he picked up his iPhone to verify. What is this world coming to?

Okay, so everyone has a Facebook account. Even the Yakima Fruit Market by my condo has a Facebook page. What?! I didn't know you could be friends with a fruit market. The other day Amy posted this note asking people to write about their favorite memories with her. The thing exploded into all of us writing funny college stories on each other's walls. I was totally laughing about it until I realized that now my dad, some of his friends, Dan's brothers, all my cousins in Mexico and my mother-in-law know I puked all over myself driving home one morning after a long night of drinking. Sweet.

I logged in to check my bank balance this morning and I saw a link to Facebook at the bottom of the page. I looked again and realized it said feedback, not Facebook. If I ever become friends with Bank of America on Facebook I might just have to call it quits.

Happy Valentine's Day to me!

Remember how I told you Dan got me a sweet sweet Valentine's Day gift? Here it is. I got a box of Fran's Sea Salt Caramels (my favorite) and a box of assorted truffles. Lucky girl! (lucky = fat). He also arranged red roses with white tulips on his own. I thought that was a really nice touch. Don't they look great together? If you're wondering why I have flowers in a water jug it's because I don't have a vase. Sad. But, it's important to note that Dan's uncle cuts crystal and made a set of crystal especially for us when we got married. We chose the shape of one set and the pattern of another. It turned out so nice that they named the new pattern Mariana. And that is not sad at all. 

Picture me picketing

Just so you know, I am on a self imposed blog strike until I raise $500 for the Big Climb. Since I promised I wouldn't ask you for money again in my last post I want to make it clear that I'm not asking you for money. I am just refraining from filling you in on Valentine's weekend in the mountains, the sweet sweet gift Dan got me for V day, my thoughts on He's Just Not That Into You (hint: blech), the big big very important thing that's happening right now, the other big big super important thing that already happened, how I almost thought I had my identity stolen but was misinformed by the bank and was really almost the victim of debit card fraud and other stories, anecdotes and ramblings. Just thought you'd like to know.

Give me some of your money?

I guess asking for all your money was a bit ambitious. How about just $10? My goal for The Big Climb is to find 50 people to donate $10 each. How about it?

If you hate me (and who can blame you these days) will you consider donating to my teammate Betsy instead? She's also training hard and raising money. Check it out. Please?

Remember that time you staged a sit-in to save the baby Pandas and I pledged 5 dollars for every hour you sat on that cold sidewalk? Or how about the time you biked from Seattle to Billings to raise money for Diabetes research and I sponsored you by buying all your bike shorts? What about that one time I saved all your puppies from the crazy lady with the big hair? What? That was a Disney movie? Oh, yeah - disregard that last one.

The money you pledge will fund vital research to cure Leukemia and Lymphoma. It will also provide a better quality of life for cancer patients and their families. Please consider donating to this good cause. I promise this is the last time I'll ask.

Thank you!

Give me all your money

I'm unabashedly and blatantly asking you to give me money. It's for a good cause, I promise.

Betsy and I are participating in The Big Climb on March 22nd. We're climbing all 69 flights of stairs to the top of the Columbia Tower. It's 1311 steps and 788 feet of vertical elevation. My dad told me he doesn't think I can do it. Coming from my dad this is pretty harsh. I've decided not only to do it but to raise 500 dollars to benefit the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Help me out, I won't forget it. I'll owe you one. Do it for the kids.

Click here to donate and thank you. 

Let's talk about what matters: inaugural fashion

I hated Michelle Obama's "gold" dress. I tried to like it all day but I just couldn't. I don't know if it didn't read well on video or pictures but I thought the color was not flattering on her at all. There was also something about her gloves and shoes that was not right. What do you think?

On the other hand, Jill Biden showed up and said, "Stand back bitches. I've got my f' me boots on and I mean business. PS, my legs are hella skinny"

In my opinion (and I would like to hear if you disagree), little what's her name Obama stole the show in her orange and pink ensemble. Bravo, little Obama. Pick a dog already.