Dunns on Films

I am excited to announce that Betsy and Josh have finally gotten their movie review blog up. The Dunners watch every single movie. I'm serious, they've seen every comedy, drama, documentary, mocumentary, horror film and animated movie ever made. They are always talking movies and I have never seen the movie they're talking about. I'm looking forward to reading reviews about what to see and what to skip. I totally trust their taste. They are friends with me, after all.

More chelanigans pictures

Here are some much better pictures the fabulous MOB Rita took.

This is the bride, the lovely bridesmaids, Fabio the sexy little minx, MOB Rita (left) and MOG Marilyn(right).

This is all of the above minus MOG and MOB plus me.

Notice Betsy making googly eyes at Fabio. Love it!

Chelanigans

This weekend we went to Lake Chelan for Amy’s bachelorette party. I was really happy that I didn’t spill the beans and tell her where we were going. I live with my foot in my mouth but managed to keep the secret this time. Amy was adamant that she didn’t want a stripper so we made due with a life-sized cardboard Fabio. He was the guest of honor and didn’t disappoint. There were a few highlights that can be summed up in two quotes,
“rock out with your guac out” (see picture below) and the official quote of the weekend:
“Take your pants off and redeem yourself”

I am a shitty photographer so here are a couple of grainy images. If you took pics this weekend please send them to me so I can put them in the slideshow.

Uncorked, Kirkland's most expensive meat market

I guess I’ve been out of the loop for a while but when did downtown Kirkland become Western Washington’s greasiest meat market? I haven’t seen that many muscle tees, tanned biceps (complete with tribal armband tattoos) and spiky frosted tips since, um, oh the last time I was in Kirkland, right, nevermind.

For $20 we got 10 wine-tasting tokens, a midgie-sized souvenir wine glass and the chance to rub elbows with Kirkland’s most perfumed cougars and frat boys. The organizers of this fine event forgot to mention that most of the tastings would actually set you back 2 or 3 tokens, so by the time we went and purchased additional tokens we had spent about $60 for just a few stringently measured 1 oz. pours. A Saturday night of expensive mediocre wine and dreamy singles running amok was just a little more than I could handle.

The good news: there were a few tasty wines and the weather was fantastic. Overall we enjoyed ourselves, although we went home feeling slightly ripped-off.

As promised here are some pics:

I have a dream

Actually, I have a goal; it's not a dream so much. Every time I do something fun I promise myself I'm going to take pictures and blog about it. I would like this blog to be a nice balance of posts, right now it's just a bunch of my random musings and nonsense/jibber-jabber/shenanigans. I rarely post about the fun things I do and right now, it the middle of summer, there are lots of outings and adventures to show you. So here is my list of events about which to post. I figure if I tell you in advance I'll feel a bit of obligation to follow through. 

1. Kirkland Uncorked Wine Festival - tonight, really looking forward to it.

2. Amy Jane's bachelorette party next weekend in an undisclosed location - fine we're going to Wild Waves, you got it out of me. 

3. Dan's brothers are coming out in August with their families, there will also be a Kiene family reunion in North Bend. After the reunion we'll all head up to Bellingham. It will be the first time we're all together up there, should be fun.

4. Our 1 year anniversary. As of yet we don't have plans but hopefully we'll go out to a nice dinner or something.

5. Radiohead - I hope it's as good as I've made it out to be in my overactive mind. I may cry, we'll see.

6. Amy and Taylor's wedding at Alderbrook.

After all these things happen we'll be peering around the corner to fall. I'm hoping to relive last year's Cave B wine tasting excursion. I would also really like to take Carolina to the pumpkin patch and do all the fun fall things you do when there are little kids in your life. I'll have to talk to Ana, she is not privy to the plans I've made with her daughter, probably should check first, huh?

Ok, I think that's plenty to blog about. Stay tuned....

Looking for a place?

My sis is selling her condo. Check it out here. You should buy it. 

and the most disturbing crime of the year award goes to...

Dear person who put sharpened metal spikes in Green Lake,

Congratulations, you are officially the creepiest weirdo in Seattle. You hold the title for the most malicious and creative way to injure an innocent citizen. I must inquire about your sneaky methods. How did you manage to go unnoticed and put not 1, not 2, but an astounding 50 metal spikes in the lake? Is your handy work performed in the dark of the night? Do you operate on dreary winter days when Green Lake is sparsely visited? I am intrigued and disgusted by your hobby. I am sure the Seattle Police and the Parks Department will find you. When they do, I hope they take you to a dark hole somewhere and stab you with your own weapons. You are the stuff of which urban legends are made, and that’s not a good thing.

Years ago, when I was naïve impressionable teenager, I was told there were tether ball poles in Lake Washington under I-90. When naïve and impressionable teenagers went seeking a thrill in the heat of the summer they would go out to the bridge and hurl themselves to certain impalement. In the core of my young brain I knew this to be false, but I kind of believed it. After hearing of your little escapade to Green Lake I think maybe the tether ball pole myth might be true after all. Either way, I’m not about to go jumping off a bridge or swimming in Green Lake anytime in the near future.

So thanks, creepy weirdo. Thanks for making us all think twice before doing something so simple as swimming in our city’s refreshing waterways. Thanks for making me doubt reason and common sense when I hear a silly urban legend. Thanks for sending chills up and down my spine on the way to work this morning. Run fast, creepy weirdo; hide well, because when they manage to find you I’m sure you’re in some deep shit.

Sincerely,
Me

Happy Birthday Mike!

We hope you have a fabulous day!

What happens in Kenmore...

Dan went to Vegas this weekend and I wasn't invited. I've been plotting ways to stick it to him and here's what I'm gonna do:

1. Beat all his Wii Fit records, especially the ski jump so he'll come home and feel the same as every time I whoop him in bowling.
2. Teach Lola a new trick that she'll only do for me. Suck it Dan.
3. Watch all his Tivo'd shows and erase them. When he's back I'll only tell him about the first half of each episode and say, "I guess you'll just have to catch a rerun".
4. Do my laundry and leave his dirty clothes in the hamper, sucks going into work on Monday smelling bad.
5. Cook up his favorite meal and store no leftovers.

Who am I kidding? That list is just a bunch of thinly veiled chores and pitiful sessions of gluttony and revenge. I will do none of the above. I hope he wins big because at the very least he'll owe me a nice dinner out.

A to Z

Stass McGrass tagged me, this is for all you Little Meah lovers out there, and I know you are abundant:

A- available? Negative, Dan has beat you to it.
B- Best Friend? Yeah, tons, I'm really popular
C- Cake or pie? Both, nom nom nom
D - Drink of choice? Gin and Tonic, Jaeger Red Bull, Water during the week
E - Essential thing used everyday? Lots of things, toothbrush, car, computer, fork, etc, etc...
F- Favorite color? Don't have one
G- Gummi bears or worms? I'm not a fan of gummy candy
H- Hometown? Tulsa, OK and Kirkland, WA
I - indulgence? Starbucks, cheese, Banana Republic Petites
J- January or February? February- I love Valentine's Day
L- Life? Doesn't suck
M- Marriage date? August 11th
N- Number of siblings?One, Ana Beatriz
O- Oranges or Apples? Fuji apples
P- Phobias? Some social situation freak me out
Q - Quote? "You can't polish a turd"
R- Reason to smile? There are tons, where do I start? I recently smiled big time reading a new post about Carolina
S- Season? Summer
T- Tag three (4) people - Ana, Shannon and Bobby, I don't know anybody else that hasn't already been tagged...
U - Unknown fact about me? I was really tall once but I got this crazy bacterial infection and they had to remove the bottom halves of my legs. They got this amazing Swedish plastic surgeon to reattach my feet, you can't even tell.
V- Vegetables you do not like? Cauliflower, ewwww
W- Worst habits? Not calling back
X- X-rays you have had? Teeth
Y- your favorite food? Cheese
Z - Zodiac Sign? Cancer

Stupid Names. A play in 1 act.

Person 1: Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have named their daughter. She was born on Saturday and they named her Sunday.
Person 2: So what’s her name?
Person 1: I guess it’s Sunday.
Person 2: No, today is Monday, so what’s the baby’s name?
Person 1: They named her Sunday.
Person 2: Right, I get it, so what did they name her?
Person 1: They gave her the name Sunday.
Person 2: OK, I understand they named her Sunday, but what is her name?
Person 1: I’m telling you; it’s Sunday.
Person 2: No, get a calendar, it’s Monday, what is the baby’s f’ing name?
Person 1: I give up…

Another year...

I had a great birthday this year. Carolina gave me a beautiful bouquet of orange roses. She is only 6 months old but she arranges flowers like a pro. I went over to my parent's house after work and had a rum and Coke with my sis and my mom. It was the perfect way to spend the afternoon. We had a fantastic dinner out on the patio of burgers, corn on the cob, salad, watermelon and a delicious lemon cheesecake torte for dessert. My mom went the super thoughtful route and only wrote on the envelope of my birthday card so that I can reuse it. If you get a birthday card from me with a mismatched envelope you'll know where I got it. I won't tell you what song it plays when you open it. I like to keep at least a small element of surprise. You can kind of see it in the picture. It's the yellow one on the right that says, "Happy Birthday Mariana! Love, Mom and Dad". I think I'm going to give it back to my mom on her birthday later this month. We might start a new tradition where we just give each other the same card over and over. It would be really fitting for my family to do something totally weird like that. We used to have a contest to see who could find the cheesiest Valentine's Day card. It got super ridiculous. I digress...

I also finally got to open my gift from Dan, he bought it a few months ago and told me about it. It wasn't a surprise but it was an awesome gift. He got me Radiohead tickets. He is also going to suffer through the whole show and get stuck in the parking lot for 3 hours after the concert. What a guy! Overall it was a great day. My family and Dan really came through this year. Now we're off to Bellingham to celebrate the 4th.

My secret weapon

No, I'm not talking about my legs that bend this way and that to Guns N' Roses songs, I'm referring to this little wonder we call the Mexican Miracle Medicine. Any event involving rich food or drinking must be preceded by the consumption of two of these little white pills. Dan and I have really weak stomachs and this medicine helps tremendously. It's called Onoton. If you're ever in Mexico and have foolishly eaten at a roadside stand or consumed water from the tap you should go to the drugstore immediately and buy it. I've been lead to think they don't sell it in the US because it contains some kind of opiates. Dan's brother, who is a doctor, says certain opiates are banned for medicinal use in our country. I don't know if it's true but I like the thought of smuggling opiates, even if it's in a small and insignificant way. I have packed plenty for this weekend and I'm ready to consume camping's finest cuisine to my heart's content. Gracias Mexico, I owe you one amigo.

Indianola the prequel

Before the monkeyshines last Saturday there was a brief time we were all acting like civilized adults. Here are the pictures to prove it:

Aren't they a cute couple? Thanks to the Koivu family for all the awesome food, drinks and good company. I can't wait for the wedding.

Busy summer weekends = busy dancing feet

Last weekend we went to Amy and Taylor's couples shower in Indianola. Taylor's parents have a beautiful house and they were nice enough to let us stay the night. After a few glasses of sangria, some beer and a couple greyhounds I was dancing like a retard. I don't remember doing the robot but I do remember doing the Axl which is my impersonation of Axl Rose bending his legs this way and that. Usually I pretend I'm singing into a mic, and usually I'm piss drunk when I do it. It was all good until about 5am when I woke up feeling like this:

Whenever I drink too much this is what I see in the mirror the next morning, and yes, it smells as bad as it looks. The ferry ride home was less than pleasant. Luckily Dan and I just needed some Gatorade and a nap, no IV's required. 

This weekend we are headed to my favorite place in Eastern Washington, Alta Lake. I am not planning on dancing the Axl, but you never know...

SPOGG

I like to scrutinize grammar, specifically the abominations in my coworkers’ emails. I’ve gotten such ear-steam inducing phrases in my inbox as, “your killing me”. I wanted to write back, “you're killing me”. I’ve also seen phrases come through like, “the self’s are full”. Seriously, where did you learn English? You all know I can’t handle, “please advice”. There’s also the rampant disregard for punctuation. I can tell you’re excited with just one exclamation point; you don’t need to use seven and make yourself look like an 8-year-old in line to see the Jonas Brothers.

Today is a good day in my book because I have been introduced to SPOGG, The Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar. The founder of this gem of a society needs to hightail it to my office and give my coworkers a whoopin’.

Here’s the mandatory disclaimer that you will see spelling and grammatical mistakes in my blog. I’m not perfect and I really don’t think I’m the queen of grammar (maybe just the princess, or the court jester). Anyway, I’m not trying to get all grammar elitist on you. I just think there are glaringly obvious imperfections in my coworkers’ emails and they should at least take a cursory glance at their compositions before hitting send. That’s all. Moving on…

My birthday is coming up and one of those SPOGG mugs would look mighty fine on my desk. Just sayin’.

Staring contest, place your bets

Meh

There hasn't been much going on lately. Lola turned 4 on June 4th. Dan bought her a cake and a big stuffed monkey that makes an incredible grunting noise when you squeeze his belly. We call him Mr. Monkey, original, I know. He gets along great with Lola's other friends, Duck and Paper Towel Roll. He's wearing a stupid hat and his eyes are crossed, so he fits in great at our place.

I've been battling skull searing boredom at work lately. I don't think I can do one more crossword puzzle. My cubicle walls are closing in on me. I think it's time for an intervention. Let's get together, I'll pretend I don't know about it, and you'll fix a pitcher of margaritas and tell me I need a new job. Deal? Sweet. I'm free most weekends in July.

I took my car in for an oil change and now they're replacing my transmission. Does that seem weird to you? My car is only 2 years old. Now I'm driving Chaplin VW's loaner I have nicknamed the pukeymobile because it smells wretched. I drive with the window open most of the time and wash my hands immediately when I arrive at my destination. It doesn't have a sunroof or seat heaters and all the radio pre-sets are programmed to 100.7 The Wolf. I think this car is the portal to hell. My cubicle comes a close second. I think my cubicle is Satan's plan B in case the car doesn't whisk me away to hell as it's supposed to. Clever Satan, very clever.

Is the sun ever going to come out? Well? Is it?

And finally, TFI go F yourself. Maybe I'll be in a better mood tomorrow.

Easy Preppy

I went over to my parent's house last night and discovered Carolina has turned into quite the prepster. She even had her collar turned up, how ivy league. She gave me the look that says, "I came here in my Mercedes and I'm smarter than you. By the way, this ribbon in my hair was really expensive, pass the caviar"

It's like high school vocab

Have you ever felt the urge to enhance your vocabulary and donate rice to starving people at the same time? No? Well then you will probably hate this website. Don’t go there if you’re not interested in the glorious compilations of letters that make up our beautiful language. Don’t go there if you hate starving people, or rice. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.